It never feels good to be criticized, judged or blamed, does it? And especially when it’s delivered in a way that sort of feels like it’s an emotional blow from out of nowhere.
So what might you do when you get emotionally sucker punched?
- You punch back(not literally of course!)—you react off the cuff and say something that may, momentarily give you a sense of relief (p.s. this never works)
- You pretend it didn’t hurt and self medicate with alcohol, food, shopping or other such feeling stuffing activities. Or my favorite . . . . saying “I’m fine” (when you really feel like crying, screaming or curling up in a corner)
- You allow the feelings. You sit with it and accept it. Then you kindly ask that voice what it wants. You hear it out. And then you let it know it isn’t running the show. Then—you tell the truth about it all—that you are loved and the universe always has your back.
Let’s hope you choose “3” even though “1” and “2” can be tempting at times.
But the temptation to lash out, react and feeling stuff—aren’t conscious choices. They are choices that create a cause and effect that eventually circle back around to bite us in the butt.
These awkward moments when we feel hurt by someone else’s actions or words can be great gifts for healing, clarity and allowing even MORE light and goodness into our lives—if we choose to see it that way.
And whether you’re highly sensitive or not—it takes patience, understanding and personal strength to stay present in the moment when someone is saying something that feels hurtful or unconscious to you and listen in a non defensive way.
It can be challenging. Especially if one of your biggest wounds is around feeling that you aren’t good enough, aren’t deserving of good things or any sort of “lack of” mentality. The tricky thing about those feelings or beliefs—is that you can think you have dealt with them, only to find them resurface out of the blue.
Primarily, those feelings and voices are the egos defense mechanism that more often than not—are trying to protect you.
The “maybe you aren’t really good at that” voice is simply trying to prevent you from trying again—so you wont have to get hurt.
The “you don’t really deserve that” voice is only trying to shield you from experiencing loss when something you want doesn’t come through.
And I am obviously NOT talking about truly dangerous things (like extreme sports or alligator wrestling or something . . . . that indeed you MAY NOT be great at)—and in which case that inner voice is doing its job!
But that little (bleep) of a voice doesn’t truly protect us, does it?
No, it doesn’t.
That little voice hampers us. It hinders us and holds us back.
It isn’t a voice of power, of growth and of alignment with our soul.
But we listen to it momentarily when it rears its ugly head.
We let it in. We don’t shove, stuff or medicate it away.
But then we get to tell it to step aside and let the truth of who we are take the lead. Because the truth of who we are doesn’t need protecting.
The truth of who we are isn’t afraid.
Or not good enough.
The truth of who we are is light, love and brilliance. And no matter how many layers of wounds and misdirected inner voices we have to REDIRECT—we can always find our way back to what’s true. Always.
So the next time someone tells you you aren’t good at something, or you feel hurt by someone else’s words—know that it’s only their opinion.
It’s not necessarily the truth. It’s just their truth.
And in the end—you get to choose what to do with that. That’s the beauty of the freedom, power and gift we have in the ability to choose.