Why I stopped chasing happy . . .

Because it’s so (bleeping) exhausting, that is why.      Happiness-Hands1

Some people are just born rosy,  doesn’t it seem that way?

I stared to feel like being happy was a lot of work rather than just a by product of a great life.

Then I realized that my definition of happy was all messed up and wrong (and that societies is in general).

I realized that I had created an ideal of what happy should look like, that was inauthentic.

Happiness, I thought, looked more like a hallmark card than my life.  And, I felt like something was wrong with me because my life didn’t look like that.

As soon as I let go of that stick and stopped chasing happy,  I discovered a more real, true and deeper understanding of what being happy is all about.

So why do we try so hard and what is wrong with NOT feeling happy all the time? Why does it matter if we are grouchy and annoyed?  Are we somehow less spiritual, less together and just LESS THAN, if we feel negative emotion?

Negative emotion can be a great thing,  because it tells us that something is out of whack in our lives.

Cramming antidepressants down our throats to run from what we really feel, is not the answer and will end up slowly killing us in the end.

We are made to feel. Not just happy, but all the other things as well.

We are made to feel pain, regret, shame, sadness, elation and embarrassment.

They are our indicators that something needs attention.

You have road rage and underneath that is that you just want a break. You want a couple days to unplug and unwind. You want to breathe.

You feel like crying at the drop of a hat because you haven’t discussed something that has been bugging you in your love relationship.  You crave connection.

You feel tired every time you go to work because . . you hate your job!  You want a career that you feel passionate about.

Ad the list goes on.

When we get really, really real about how we feel, that is when the magic can take place in our lives. That is when we can stop trying to reach some idealistic BS hallmark version of happy and just be.   This is where the magic of manifesting takes place.  You can’t manifest things from a place of forcing or faking it.

You manifest things from a place of being real, authentic and learning how to incrementally raise your vibration. 

Just being and just feeling are the keys to real happiness, because when we allow the truth of how we feel to come through—we allow who we are to be present in the world.  And when we allow the truth of who are in the world—we no longer need to hide, and to feel all those feelings that we may label as bad.

Feelings are our helpers— there to let us know we just gotta feel it, talk to it, surrender to it, love it, love it some more,  hug a friend and then be with it.

Ultimately, like almost everything else, how we feel is a choice.  We choose to feel happy from a real place, or we choose it from a fake place, which really isn’t feeling—it’s acting.

Stop chasing happy and just be.  The happy will show up.




What you can learn from the not-so-rosy times . . .

“A certain darkness is needed to see the stars.”

I love  this quote and at the same time, it triggers me a bit.


What the quote means to me, is that we need a bit of darkness (pain, struggle, challenges) in order to see the light (the good stuff)

There is that part of me that doesn’t want to think that we need to feel pain and go into the darkness, in order to see the light and to experience the beauty of life.

And is it required? Do we have to experience what we may define as dark or bad in order to experience the opposite of that?

Yes, I believe so.  But the beauty is that we don’t have to stay there. We may not be able to control what happens to us, but we can control how we feel about it, what we think about it and how we react to it.

I do think part of our human experience is the inherent need for contrast. Contrast meaning experiencing one thing, so we know another.

Feeling pain so we can know health. Feeling sad so we can know happy.

I think being able to see and feel things that seem to be at opposite ends of the spectrum, can help us to understand, know and appreciate the part of the spectrum that we like.

In other words, I think we can use things we may feel are our dark times in order to know  the light even more profoundly.

When you can finally grasp that moment of clarity about pain and hardship, you are free.

You are fee because you can see pain and darkness for what it is–a great and strong teacher.

A great and powerful reminder of what you love + what is good for you.  The shitty things can be super powerful reminders to get back on track and back in the saddle to what truly feeds your soul.

Darkness + hard times can be great teachers if you CHOOSE to see it that way.

You can also choose to use things in your life which are painful and challenging as excuses to hold you back.

You can tell yourself that life is hard, so why try.

You can tell yourself you had a hard childhood, so that is why you can’t make money.

You can tell  yourself you aren’t good at relationships because someone hurt you.

You can even blame it on the stars.

You can choose to let your darkness define you, or you can choose to let your darkness refine you.

You can choose to rise above whatever happened to you, however you feel and let it go, learn from it and appreciate it.

You can choose to let the dark times, light you up even more brightly.

I was adopted. I had a massive brain injury at the age of 4. I felt like an outsider most my life. I heard and saw things as a child, that I now know were psychic and intuitive abilities bubbling in me, but I labeled as weird. I hit rock bottom. I went through an ugly, high conflict divorce. I lived in guilt, shame and sorrow for many years. I lost hope. I considered ending it.

And then I chose to see my darkness as the great and very lucid teacher that it is.

And I chose to live life even more fully.

To hang out with my kids as long as possible, rather than rushing off  to do some seemingly  important thing, that could never actually match the importance of being with my girls. I chose to listen to the sound of the birds even more closely. I chose to hug more. I chose to eat what I wanted, guilt free. I chose to let it go. I chose to say what was on my mind and in my heart. I chose to let go of the fear, worry and pain that I felt was always working against me .  . . and appreciate it for teaching me to enjoy my life even more deeply than before.

Thank you, darkness, for showing me just how bright those stars can shine.

And for you, a loving reminder that whatever it is that hurts you, makes you feel less than or seems to hold you back from living your life full throttle, is really just a beautiful reminder of what is possible. The things you may label as “bad, dark, horrible, messy”  they can actually be stepping stones to your greatness, your power and your place to shine brightly.

Much love,



What I use to feel unstoppable + radiant

This is gonna be short + sweet.alive1

People ask me all the time what I use to take care of myself—supplements, exercise, skin care  products + other things.

The funny thing is, that I will share these things with people and then they don’t follow through or use them.

So, my advice is if you want it work, you gotta work it. In other words, if you want to SEE and FEEL the results, you gotta commit.

You have to CHOOSE healthy skin, radiant body, and energetic life.

Here are my must haves—


  • Ubiquinol
  • Astaxanthin
  • Curcumin
  • Vitamin D
  • Krill Oil
  • Chlorella
  • Ashwagandha
  • A good multi vitamin.  I use prograde 25+

The brand I use for the first 6 products is Mercola and the Multi-vitamin, I get from a company called Prograde.


  • Arcona—there isn’t a product of theirs that I don’t like
  • Skincueticals—I use their sunscreen, primarily, but have also used the CE Ferulic. It is really expensive though. There is a knock off brand, that some people swear is the same thing, called Cosmetic Skin Solutions


  • I do a mixture of tabata, high intensity interval training and yoga


  • This is last, but not least! I meditate at least 5 minutes a day and have some kind of regular spiritual practice. It can be committing to a book, something like A Course in Miracles, or being consistent about doing things that FEED my soul (nature, having fun, laughing, getting regular massages, etc)

If you want to feel + look healthy, you can try my list, or come up with your own.  Before I got into writing and being a spiritual guide + coach, I was a health coach, so I know this topic very well and have done a ton of research.

If you can’t afford all the supplements above, then just start with one or two and then rotate. My top 3 from that list would be a good multi, then ubiquinol or COQ10 and vitamin D. You could do that for a few months, then take out the vitamin D and ubiquinol and add in astaxanthin/chlorella… then just keep switching.

You can do the same with the skincare.  Just try a product here or there and then rotate new things in.

Anyway, this is how I stay healthy, both spiritually and physically.

And, health, like so many things in life—is a choice. It’s a choice to care for our bodies, or not. It’s a choice to commit to a daily meditation practice, which is, among many other things, free!  If you just did that one thing, alone, you would see massive shifts in your health and well-being.

I sincerely hope these things add value and radiant health to your life!