The topic of manifesting has been around for a LONG time.
Before authors like Esther Hicks and Wayne Dyer brought the concepts of law of attraction mainstream—these ideas could be found sprinkled throughout the Bible, in Buddhist beliefs and in Ancient Egyptian writings.
It’s a topic that has been written and talked about by some of the greatest and most powerful minds of all time—and for good reason.
The idea is—that when you line up you energy with what you desire in life and make a conscious effort to consistently keep your energy aligned with those things—they will appear in your life (manifest).
But have you ever asked for something from the universe and it hasn’t magically show up for you?
Have you read many of these great books, felt pretty certain you’re doing what you’re supposed to—and things haven’t shown up for you?
Law of Attraction (LOA) and manifesting are brilliant tools to help us create a life we love—when they work. But there are several flaws or misconceptions that trip people up when trying to understand and apply manifesting principles.
Here are 5 of those misconceptions—
1. It’s simple or easy. When people hear “Ask and it is given”—they think that all they need to do is ask and it is given. While this is possible, it’s not the norm (otherwise everyone would win the lottery : ) It’s not just about asking. It’s aboutlining up your energy with what you want—and that isn’t always simple or easy. If you have a lifetime of negative energy about a topic (say creating wealth)—it may take more than just asking to change those ingrained beliefs. We have to combine a shift in our feelings and beliefs about what we desire with the asking.
2. It’s too complicated and requires too much work. Yes, it can be seen as both oversimplified AND overcomplicated. Most people like the idea of “Ask and it’s given”—because it’s simple. Asking is easy, right? But the truth is—it can get complicated and a little messy when we are trying to rewrite years of messed up programming in our brains. Just as we can get tripped about it being too easy (and give up when it’s not) we can get tripped up on it being too much work. The point is—being aware to not let either excuse hold you back.
3. Focus on the future, not the present. The key to being successful at manifesting is to learn to keep your primary focus on the NOW. This trips people up because it seems like the very essence of manifesting is to create something that isn’t here yet—which sort of automatically puts us in the future. But it isn’t about feeling better once we get what we want. It’s about placing the focus on the NOW and feeling good NOW. This is what helps us get in the miracle zone with manifesting.
4. Thinking it’s about the end result. We almost always associate manifesting with an end result—I will be happier once I get x,y or z. It’s hard not to because that’s sort of why we are doing in in the first place, right? We are working on changing our energy, so we can get something we don’t have . . . an end result. This isn’t the way to look at it though. The key is to be clear about what you want, yes. But then the key is to keep a steady, excited energy in the present moment. The better you get at feeling good NOW, regardless of what’s showing up in your life—the more a magnet you become for your desires.
5. Not enough clear steps and guidance on the “how-to” part of it.Clear, consistent “how-to” steps in regards to manifesting are left out of many of the teachings—or it’s confusing. Simply telling someone to feel good who has been chronically depressed most of their life–won’t help. You need clear guidance and steps and the how-to when you’re dealing with deeply ingrained habits of thinking and feeling.
These 5 misconceptions can get in the way of us learning to create what we want in life with manifesting .
And sometimes by simply understanding the flaws in something—you can gain more clarity about the strengths.
But one thing I want to make SUPER clear is that these “flaws” are really flaws in how we are perceiving manifesting. It’s not that there are flaws in manifesting—there are flaws in how we are relating to and interpreting it.
When you get to the point with manifesting where things just seem to effortlessly fall into place—it really is like living in a magical world. But as with most great things in life—there’s a learning curve.
It requires a bit of work and persistence.
But after awhile, it gets easier.
It becomes more habitual.
And you trade those feelings, thoughts and beliefs that worked against getting what you want—with the new improved versions.
The versions that support your well-being and happiness.
And that’s worth the work, in my opinion!
Self help is great in some respects and in others, it can be frustrating, confusing and jut plain wackadoodle.
It’s not that I don’t think it has merit (I am a self help author and coach after all : )
It’s that there are a few central beliefs that are thrown around in the self help world, that may trip people up.
They may actually make you wanna pull your hair out and scream profanities at the universe.
We start to hear them so much—that they are reduced to catchy new age slogans that we sort of tune out after awhile.
You learn about the “manifest your dreams” thing. You study it. You get excited about it. You read more books about it, maybe attend a workshop.
You’re hopeful. Excited even.
And then it doesn’t work.
You still don’t like your job.
You still feel disconnected.
You still don’t have six pack abs, stacks of gold or endless youth and vitality.
And you certainly don’t feel like you’re manifesting your dreams.
So you decide that—
Self help must not work. That woo-woo stuff must be a bunch of b.s.
And you scream profanities at the universe.
I get it. I’ve been there.
If you follow the self help or spiritual growth world—there’s little doubt you’ve heard the following sayings. But as with anything in life, let’s look at them with a curious, open mind and make sure they are truly of benefit to us—and not actually holding us back or a source of frustration (an energy that doesn’t help us to attract what we want)
8 self-help beliefs that may do more harm than good—
1. Everything happens for a reason—Maybe it doesn’t. Maybe some things happens, just because they do. Maybe we don’t need to try to connect ourselves to horrible things, and internalize that we deserve it, or we attracted it. Maybe some things just happen, regardless of our energy, our horoscope or how the planets are lined up. Maybe the only reason it happened is for us to learn to maintain our vibration, no matter what (very good idea indeed)
2. Ask and it is given. Maybe everything we ask for, isn’t given—in exactly the way we ask for it…. Maybe, as the Rolling Stones say—”You can’t always gets what you want, but if you try sometimes, you get what you need.”
This, I found to be spot on. While I genuinely believed that winning millions in the lottery was not only possible, but highly probable, it still didn’t happen. But what did happen, is that I won the “life lottery” in so many more meaningful ways than just a mountain of money (but yes, the prosperity showed up too : )
3. You get what you give (or you attract everything to you based on what energy you give out in the world) Mmmmmm, as much as Abraham Hicks tries to explain why young kids get horrible diseases, and why traumatic things happen to innocent souls—I don’t buy this one all the time.
And, it’s another potential black hole for guilt. If all these bad things happen to me—then I must have deserved it, right? This one, we need to take with a grain of salt and be easy on ourselves.
Yes, I do believe we are energetic magnets. I do think there is great value in learning to master how we feel and what we think. I also believe that there are certain things that fall out of our ability to explain, or make sense of. And the best thing we can do is get back to a place of feeling good, feeling better and being playful, deliberate and light about our energy, no matter what happens.
4. Don’t do it if it doesn’t feel good. I am pretty sure cleaning toilets won’t ever feel good to me. Or paying taxes. But I do them anyway. I like not being in jail and having a clean toilet! And even beyond those trivial things—there are the larger growth phases we may go through in life, that don’t feel good. But when we move beyond our comfort zone, feel a bit of the uncomfortableness—the gifts that are on the other side are worth it.
5. Live just for the moment, just for the now. As a parent of an 18 and 20 year old, to tell them to only live for the now and today—would be leaving out a big part of it. Yes, I get the idea behind this one. Be present. Enjoy the now. But I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that my “now” is pretty amazing because a few years back, I planned ahead, thought about my future and set things in motion to make sure my “now” would be what I wanted it to be.
Sometimes you gotta live for tomorrow a little bit as well. It’s not just about now. It’s about setting the intention to have a succession of successful and pleasing “nows.” That requires we think ahead, plan ahead and create a vision for what we want our tomorrow to look like.
6. Never say never. I am never going to intentionally eat insects. Never. Never going to jump out of a plane. Never. I will never again spend so much of my energy on being angry or arguing over pointless things. There are things I know I will never do again. It’s ok to say never when you’re that clear. Clarity is good.
7. You create your reality. Do the babies that get hurt or have horrible illnesses create that reality? Some would say it’s the parents’ energy. Some would say that yes, that child did, on an energetic level—create whatever is in their reality. I don’t buy it. I think sometimes bad things simply happen. It’s then up to us to react, feel and think in ways that get us back on track, energetically speaking.
While I do believe this one a good portion of the time, there are certain situations that I simply can’t accept as being created by that person. God will have some explaining to do. Again, this one can make some feel like they deserve unwanted or bad things and can create unnecessary guilt and self doubt.
8. We are all mirrors or we are all one. I am not one with certain people. Just no. My energy and who I am, is not one and the same with people who do unspeakable things. Nope. If this is a universal truth, God will have to explain this one as well. Just don’t buy it and I think it turns people away from self help and personal growth.
There is good intention behind all these beliefs. And there are aspects of each, that I believe to be absolutely true.
But the main point we need to remember here is this—
Lets not be sheeple!!! (see definition)
sheeple—people compared to sheep in being docile, foolish, or easily led.
Let’s shy away from believing something simply because the latest, greatest self help author or guru wrote about it.
And better yet, let’s not be spiritual sheeple.
Let’s not believe it just because the latest, greatest self help author or guru wrote about it.
Believe it because it feels right and adds value to your life.
We gravitate towards self help to be helped.
To feel better. To manifest our dreams. To feel loved and connected.
We reach out to self help to . . . get help!
So if it isn’t helping, then move on or take a good hard look at YOU.
Maybe it isn’t the saying that doesn’t work. Maybe it’s old beliefs, ways of thinking and feeling that are tripping you up.
Maybe you do create your reality through your energy—but simply understanding what that means, isn’t enough.
It has to be lived.
And it has to be felt, known and believed in such a way that there isn’t an OUNCE OF DOUBT.
AND THAT, my dear friend—takes patience, time and commitment.
But that’s a whole other topic (and post)
Remember—it takes us decades to learn ways of reacting, feeling and thinking in the world that maybe DON’T work in our favor.
So let’s give ourselves a little break, be patient and acknowledge that it may take a bit more that a workshop, a book or one online program—to change something in our life.
Self-help and personal growth are merely tools we can use to get closer to what we want in life.
But ultimately any of those tools, beliefs and online workshops, aren’t worth a dime if your aren’t going to make a conscious choice to change the thing you want to change.
SO IT COMES DOWN TO A CHOICE.
You have to consciously CHOOSE to change.
But how cool is that?
It’s ultimately, your choice.
Your choice how your life looks + feels.
Yesterday I spent the entire day writing—yet ended up deleting it all. It sucked.
It felt off. It wasn’t clear and I was tip toeing around what I really wanted to say.
And I am not a good tiptoer. I like to dive right in to the meat of the matter. That’s my energy.
But yesterday I was tiptoeing, rather than being in my truth.
I wasn’t getting to the heart of the matter, saying what needed to be said and moving on.
And what happens when we do that?
We get bitchy, confused, foggy.
We complain, eat too much, drink too much and come up with all sort of excuses and justifications as to why we aren’t in our truth.
We spend way too much time on Instagram or FB wasting time looking at other peoples lives. We hide.
And the cost, aside from that feeling of being “off” is that it’s soul sucking.
Yep, it’s soul sucking to be disconnected from our truth in life.
Ultimately, if we stay in that space for too long—it robs us of our joy, connection, passion and health.
And being in our truth isn’t always an easy road, as well. Because sometimes that means you may offend people, they may not like what you have to say and they may judge you. They may be threatened by you standing in your power. It may make them feel a whole slew of things, that in the end—aren’t your responsibility.
People may not like you.
So what if they judge you. Move ahead anyway.
So what if they make fun of you and talk behind your back. Speak your truth anyway.
So what if they don’t want to be your friend anymore, or stop contacting you. They aren’t a friend anyway. Friends love you—the real you. Not the “you” that conforms to who they think you should be, what you should say, or not say. If they are really supposed to be in your energy vortex—they will be there.
Otherwise . . . next.
Just be you.
It’s more than enough.