I just finished reading the most amazing blog post by Danielle LaPorte. She swears, she philosophizes, she speaks her truth from a deep and real place.
Just like I have always wanted to do, but at times felt like . . .
- I couldn’t
- I shouldn’t
- People will think I’m a bitch
- They will see that I am flawed
- They will judge me
- They won’t opt in or I will lose subscribers
- It will sound too much like bitching and not enough like “spiritual speak”
- An evolved, spiritual person wouldn’t swear!!
- Evolved, spiritual people have self control and manners
And blah, blah, blah
You know, some of those things are just downright true, real and valid—and others are just silliness.
Still, our thoughts about ANYTHING (health, wealth, love) impact, guide, direct, shape and mold our reality. Our thoughts really are things and they do have the ability to direct the flow and fabric of our lives. So maybe there is “truth” in a thought, but just because it’s true for you, doesn’t mean it’s true for others. And just because it’s true for you, doesn’t necessarily mean it’s right for you either.
For example, we can believe it is very true that it’s not right to speak our truth if it could hurt someone else. But really, this is a stodgy old belief. I mean, yes, if your truth is just downright mean, then yah, edit it or tone it down. But if you truth is that it doesn’t feel good when someone gossips all the time or complains about their problems 24/7, then the best thing for you (and them) would be to create a healthy boundary around it and let them know you’re not ok with it anymore.
But sometimes, our thoughts about a situation like that may get in our way because we don’t want to hurt them . . . don’t want to make anyone feel uncomfortable or awkward . . . don’t want to rock the boat . . . don’t want to come across as mean . . . don’t want them to not like us . . . and on and on.
The deal-e-o is—truth is a subjective. Right is subjective. And obviously—thoughts and beliefs are subjective.
If we really want to attack any issue in our lives, it’s critical that we address it first, on the thought level.
Our thoughts have an energy and vibration to them that impacts and influences our outcomes.
So . . . to change the thing, change the thought. And to take it even further—to change the thing, change the feeling.
For the double whammy—change both!
If you really want to get super ninja about feeling alright, feeling badass and just feeling really damn good—then learn to be a master of your thoughts and feelings.
To be the maven or master of your feelings—meditate, pray, forgive, walk in nature, play with your dog, your kids, laugh, smile, eat what you want, exercise, juice fast on occasion, practice feeling good religiously, tap into what it is you are feeling and thinking—get connected to it.
Be aware of how you feel and what you are thinking. Then do it again. And again.
Learn to be an observer of your thoughts. Are they high vibe? Low vibe? Are they mostly negative, judgmental, contradictory to what you want? How does it make you feel to think what you think?
If we are choosy about what we eat, who we hang out with, how we dress, what we read, how we take care of our bodies, then why wouldn’t we be choosy about what we think?
When you choose your thoughts from a place of awareness and consciousness, you pave the way for choosing your life.
It’s not about being perfect or fitting into some preconceived ideal of what it means to be spiritual or evolved . . . but it is about committing to being aware of how you are choosing to feel and what you are choosing to think.
It is about being you, loving you and doing what feels right to you.
It’s NOT about spending your life trying to make everyone else happy, or being overly concerned about what they think about you.
Trust me . . . you won’t succeed at pleasing everyone, so you might as well start with pleasing you.
Choose thoughts that line up with the love you desire, the radiant health you want and the success and abundance you deserve.
Think it and feel it first, then just surrender and allow.
xoo (that’s one kiss and two hugs)
Ever have those days when you just want to press pause? Like you just want to freeze everything for awhile so you can bask in quiet, peaceful and serene energy?
There is so much going on and the word “busy” has become the new anthem or badge of honor in our society. How many times do you hear from people how busy they are? More often than not, I am guessing.
We are all so busy. Busy, busy, busy. It’s almost like a sickness or something.
I mean I get the reality, that we all are truly busy! We have kids, jobs, to-do’s etc.… Trust me, I get it.
The busy I am referring to, is like we go on autopilot and shut off. It’s that busy that feels disconnected, rushed and without a sense of meaning. It’s like we bounce from thing to thing and don’t really get anywhere.
Sometimes it feels to me, like if we aren’t busy, or don’t feel busy, then it’s almost like we don’t feel useful or productive. What will people think of me if I am not busy? If I don’t have a big to-do list? If I have idle time? OMG, idle time? But isn’t that lazy, unproductive and useless?
No, not at all.
I am here to tell you that the EXACT thing you must do, if you want sanity, clarity, health, joy and increased personal success in your life—is to choose to take quality down time in your life.
Here are a few guidelines to consider when choosing your down time.
- Commit to at least one hour of down time a day.
- Eliminate distractions! During this time, shut off your phone, don’t be on the computer and make this YOUR TIME.
- Create a sacred ritual for your down time. Walk in nature, have a connecting talk with someone, meditate, do a yoga class . . anything that gets you feeling relaxed and more connected to you. This is not a time to cross something off your list. This is time for you to make a commitment to stop being busy and start being present in your life.
- Consistency. If this is just another thing you read and don’t actually implement, then there is no point. If you truly want to feel better, be healthier, wealthier and happier, then it’s critical to get off the busy-mobile and on the feel good bus. Feeling good raises your vibration and attracts more good things into your life. It’s universal law.
- Honor yourself. You are worth one hour a day! And if one hour is too big of a stretch, then start with 30 minutes. The point is to get in the habit of slowing down and being centered. The point is to be able to get quiet and still enough to hear yourself through all the self imposed “noise” that we create in our lives through being busy.
Learning to stop the habitual choice to be busy, is a critical step in really learning to master your life and your choices. Once you make a commitment to slowing down and savoring your down time, you will start to notice something. You will start to feel again. You will start to have ideas and more energy. You will get clarity about problems. You will feel a sense of freedom and lightness. You will attract more wanted things in your life.
If you want to live a truly satisfying life–one with peak health, success, love and happiness—you will need to make it a point to slow down, enjoy and go within on a consistent basis. This always works for me and it when I forget to take this down time, I get a very quick reminder. Things start to feel out of sync when I forget to commit to choosing me.
We are meant to enjoy—not spend it being asleep in a state of busy-ness. So take time for you slow down and savor your life.
I am gonna go chill out..
In the quest to manifest things—to get what we want in life by learning to use our energy to attract things to us—we often hear that we need to just feel good.
Ok, so that can be a bit confusing, because the fact is—there will be times when it doesn’t feel good.
There will be times when it is confusing, sad, scary, uncomfortable and challenging.
In the quest to go for your dreams, live true to yourself and manifest your desires, the soul will experience some growing pains.
You may not want to write that blog post, change your eating habits, react differently to people who trigger you or have that difficult talk with your spouse. But in the end, by doing these things and moving through the intital discomfort, you may get closer to a deeper sense of feeling good.
Does it feel good to get on stage and overcome your fear of public speaking? No! But in order to achieve that next level you may want to go to in your life—it may be necessary to go through that fear and come out the other end with an increased confidence.
You willingly go through the discomfort to reap the reward on the other side.
Having the healthy body you really want may require that you give up some bad habits to get the result you want. It may require you change your diet, exercise more and change your beliefs about health. You may have to sweat a bit (literally) to get to that better feeling place in your life.
Would it be easier to sit on the coach and eat potato-chips? Mmmm….maybe in that instant. But on another more conscious level, you know that what would be better for you would be to get your butt off the coach, go for a walk, choose something healthy to eat and ditch the junk food.
Where many people get off track with this idea (to just feel good no matter what) is that they confuse feeling good from a short-term, instant gratification viewpoint, with a long-term, more conscious, deep level of feeling good. Or they believe that they have to fake how they feel and force being happy. This isn’t about faking it.
Be real about how you feel, then move towards raising your vibration by feeling better.
The point it—it’s not always easy, and it doesn’t always feel good.
We resist change. We fight it. We tend to want to do what is easier. Do we want easy, or do we want lasting joy? Do we want easy or meaningful?
Struggle is not a requirement, but it may be a part of it when you are pushing up against some big goals, changes or intentions.
Keep the focus on feeling real and feeling better. Just keep reaching for ways to feel better that will serve you long-term and support your goals and intentions.
Choosing our thoughts, feelings and actions is what it’s all about. Having choice is what gives us creative freedom in our lives. If you want something that isn’t coming to you—choose differently. That is all it takes.
I am a recovered self-help junkie, guru-hopper and chronic newlsetter subscriber.
Hmmm . . . What the heck?
I had turned self-help, spirituality and the quest for a happy, meaningful life into a full time job.
I kept looking outside myself for the answers to the health, wealth and happiness I desired.
And in the end, I found that it took me further away from my own truth.
Can you relate?
What I didn’t realize, other than this subtle nagging sense that I was not on the right track and not getting the results I desired, was that I was using certain things as tricky forms of resistance—as a means to keep me away from my power, my strength, my voice and my art.
I reached this awareness while reading one of my favorite books, The War of Art, by Steven Pressfield. Mr. Pressfield suggests that we have these dreams, desires and artistic expressions inside us—craving to be realized and manifested—and that we hide ourselves from ourselves through various forms of resistance. We shut out the dreamer, the painter, the musician, the writer—the creative entrepreneur in us—through resistance.
Resistance in the form of:
- Wasting time on Facebook doing things that clearly have no direct impact on our art, our creativity, our heart or our truths and passions. It’s basically just a time suck, admit it.
- Staying stuck in old patterns of arguing with people (exes…I am guilty). You can be right or you can feel good. I would rather feel good. Do these arguments ever go anywhere anyway? No! They are also a time suck, and it’s resistance rearing it’s ugly head trying to hold you back from your best self.
- Doing tasks that really aren’t critical, but you put them ahead of your passions and dreams.
- Subscribing to too many online marketing systems, entrepreneurial websites and e-mails lists.
- Excuses, justifications and rationalizations. You know what you are passionate about. You know what you love, and when you create all these excuses for why you can’t or shouldn’t or don’t . . . it’s only going to show up in the form of unhappiness, boredom, restlessness and stagnation. Ditch the excuses. They are a form of resistance.
These are just a few. Resistance comes in many forms and only you can decide and see how it shows up for you. It can be food, TV, shopping, working out excessively or even house cleaning.
Resistance keeps you from becoming your own best self -help expert, spiritual advisor and guru.
You know you are relying too much on your guru, self-help library or outside influences when:
- You can’t see your nightstand anymore due to the high stacks of self-help books, CDs, tapes, Kindles, iPods and iPads.
- You keep creating goals or intention lists that are not manifesting in your life… it just isn’t happening!
- Your inbox is full of everyone else’s newsletters, but you still haven’t perfected yours.
- Your message or goal is not clear due to muddying the waters with everyone else’s ideas, opinions or systems.
- You find your significant other asking several times a month, “What’s this charge from [insert self-help company name]?”
- You need an assistant to manage your programs, classes and newsletters.
- You need a second job to pay for all the programs.
- Your spouse is lonely, and your kids haven’t had a home cooked meal in a few weeks.
Yes, some of these are serious and some are more light-hearted, but the point is—keep an eye on resistance in your life—in all the subtle and not so subtle ways it can show up.
Distractions, resistance and being disconnected are a choice. It may not be an overly conscious choice, but they are all choices, nonetheless.
If we want to get to the point where we are clearing channels to manifesting our desires, we need to take a look at how we may be sabotaging that quest through these forms of resistance.
Let me know if you relate and how resistance manifests in your life.
Merci et Bisous!
Have you ever felt like giving up? Like you work so hard at something with little to no reward?
Or, do you find yourself getting upset (a mini-meltdown) because you see others doing what you are doing, but they seem to be rewarded for their hard work?
Do you compare yourself to others and think . . .
- It’s easier for them to make money—they have the wealth you want.
- It’s easier for them to have an amazing body—they have the health you desire.
- It’s easier for them to have that successful businesses—they have the success you would love.
- It’s easier for them to be happy—they have the happiness you strive for.
- It’s easier for them because______________ (fill in the blank).
I am sure you have heard the saying, “Dont’ give up when you are 3 feet from gold.” I first read this in Naploen Hill’s book, Think and Grow Rich. It’s the idea that many people give up, just before they are about to find gold (or the results they desire in their lives or businesses).
From a life and spiritual perspective, we often think that if we don’t see results from our efforts right away, then it must not be working…..there must be something “off” with our vision, our dream or our plan.
There will be times on our journeys (as humans, entrepreneurs, healers, coaches, business owners, moms!!) that we will need to STRETCH personally and professionally. That we will feel a bit of discomfort as we move past limiting beliefs in order to get to our “gold.”
The “gold” being whatever it is we desire—health, wealth, happiness, money or connecting relationships.
There is a difference between the kind of discomfort that is guiding and gently nudging us through our limiting beliefs (and growing) and the discomfort of pushing against things that truly do not serve us.
How do you know the difference?
You know the difference because of how it feels. Something that is truly not working for us any longer and no longer serves our higher intentions and goals—feels different than things that are truly taking us to a new level of growth in our lives.
The idea that life should always feel good and we should always be happy—in all honesty—is a disservice to many people and a flaw (I think) in the self-help world.
I think many people feel bad, or like there is something wrong with them for feeling discouraged, disappointed or having meltdowns over not being where they want to be. Sometimes these feelings can actually facilitate the shift.
Sometimes these “negative” or intense feelings can be the catalyst to have the miracle—or metamorphosis—happen for you.
It can be these uncomfortable feelings that push you that extra bit to find your gold, your reward and your personal best.
It can be those very meltdowns that are the kick in the butt to get you to the next “level.”
The key to manifesting and really living the life you desire is learning to keep your vibration consistently high. This doesn’t mean there wont be meltdowns or disappointments, it just means we use those to move forward rather then using them as an excuse to slide backwards. The meltdowns can be a great signal that we are on track and on the verge of striking it rich!
Whatever it is you want to manifest—prosperity, health, success, happiness—it’s about getting super focused on choosing to keep your vision in mind (the stack of gold, the body you desire, the travel, the love) no matter what is happening around you.
It’s not giving up right before the miracle.
Know, believe, trust and have faith.
Choose to be relentless about your desires.
Choose to be unwavering in the pursuit of your truth.
In love + gratitude,
p.s. I guide and coach women to live lives that are meaningful, rich and rewarding. I help strategize so that you can manifest what you want and discover what it really means to feel your truth, your voice and your authenticity. Many of us don’t know what that means….to feel authentic, to know our truth and to really access our voice. If you are curious about how this can shift your life, e-mail me at [email protected]
For all you biz owners out there who blog on a regular basis—how are you feeling about it?
Bored? Like no one is listening? Like you are writing your blog posts for yourself, or that it just isn’t lighting your fire anymore?
How about those of you who are browsers of blogs—what keeps you going back? What keeps you away? What keeps you interested or enthralled?
How do we, as online entrepreneurs and coaches—turn browsers into believers and/or buyers?
Here are 6 tips to keep your blog posts interesting and producing results (because there is little point in doing it if we aren’t getting the results we desire).
- Choose a topic or subject that you are genuinely interested in and know well. You can’t keep yourself or others interested and coming back to your blog if you aren’t 100% confident in your topic. You are the expert, you are the content creator, so make it matter. Even if it’s a topic that isn’t totally related to your expertise, make sure you have done your research on it before you write about it or review it.
- Choose a unique way to present it! Instead of just creating a blog post, maybe do a weekly vlog to mix it up. Many successful online entrepreneurs have moved to a combination of blogging and vlogging. Be unique and true to you! This isn’t about copying others out there. It’s about finding your unique way to present it. Use a combination of inspiration and information.
- Create a clear plan and vision for your blog/vlog. Create a regular schedule, and then do your best to stick with it.
- Analyze your content and see what’s creating a buzz and what’s not. What blog posts are getting more comments and responses? Consider creating similar or related content for your more popular posts.
- Ask! Ask you subscribers what they like and don’t like. What’s useful and whats not so useful? You can use something like survey monkey to create a quick survey and send it out to your list.
- Don’t become a slave to it. The purpose of having a blog is to engage, educate and inspire your audience. If you aren’t accomplishing those things—switch it up. There is no point in doing the same thing over and over again if it’s not getting you closer to what you want and making you feel good. There is no point in spending time creating blog posts each week if it feeels like a drain. Use your imagination. Get creative with it!
Creating useful, interesting, juicy content is the thing that will turn our browsers into believers…and then potential buyers. But in this land of information overload, you have to find a way to deliver content that is practical and purposeful. Blogs and vlogs are how we connect with our peeps. It’s how we build trust and showcase our expertise.
If we aren’t into it, our readers aren’t gonna feel it either.
If you aren’t offering a little more than just information—then your readers (or watchers) will get bored….and so will you.
What does this have to do with choosing wiser and living larger?
If we want success, happiness, health, growth—all those good things—then we need to infuse passion and our authenticity into every aspect of our lives. That includes our business, our products, our blog posts . . . all of it! And for the blog/vlog readers—it’s important for you to spend your time reading and watching things that really do it for you! No more wasting time on things that don’t truly serve us.
An amazing life and business is really just a choice away. Learning how to really listen to who we are, what we desire and then going for it, is the key to living a powerful, passion filled life. It’s the key to manifesting a life of health, prosperity and happiness.