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“A certain darkness is needed to see the stars.”

I love  this quote and at the same time, it triggers me a bit.


What the quote means to me, is that we need a bit of darkness (pain, struggle, challenges) in order to see the light (the good stuff)

There is that part of me that doesn’t want to think that we need to feel pain and go into the darkness, in order to see the light and to experience the beauty of life.

And is it required? Do we have to experience what we may define as dark or bad in order to experience the opposite of that?

Yes, I believe so.  But the beauty is that we don’t have to stay there. We may not be able to control what happens to us, but we can control how we feel about it, what we think about it and how we react to it.

I do think part of our human experience is the inherent need for contrast. Contrast meaning experiencing one thing, so we know another.

Feeling pain so we can know health. Feeling sad so we can know happy.

I think being able to see and feel things that seem to be at opposite ends of the spectrum, can help us to understand, know and appreciate the part of the spectrum that we like.

In other words, I think we can use things we may feel are our dark times in order to know  the light even more profoundly.

When you can finally grasp that moment of clarity about pain and hardship, you are free.

You are fee because you can see pain and darkness for what it is–a great and strong teacher.

A great and powerful reminder of what you love + what is good for you.  The shitty things can be super powerful reminders to get back on track and back in the saddle to what truly feeds your soul.

Darkness + hard times can be great teachers if you CHOOSE to see it that way.

You can also choose to use things in your life which are painful and challenging as excuses to hold you back.

You can tell yourself that life is hard, so why try.

You can tell yourself you had a hard childhood, so that is why you can’t make money.

You can tell  yourself you aren’t good at relationships because someone hurt you.

You can even blame it on the stars.

You can choose to let your darkness define you, or you can choose to let your darkness refine you.

You can choose to rise above whatever happened to you, however you feel and let it go, learn from it and appreciate it.

You can choose to let the dark times, light you up even more brightly.

I was adopted. I had a massive brain injury at the age of 4. I felt like an outsider most my life. I heard and saw things as a child, that I now know were psychic and intuitive abilities bubbling in me, but I labeled as weird. I hit rock bottom. I went through an ugly, high conflict divorce. I lived in guilt, shame and sorrow for many years. I lost hope. I considered ending it.

And then I chose to see my darkness as the great and very lucid teacher that it is.

And I chose to live life even more fully.

To hang out with my kids as long as possible, rather than rushing off  to do some seemingly  important thing, that could never actually match the importance of being with my girls. I chose to listen to the sound of the birds even more closely. I chose to hug more. I chose to eat what I wanted, guilt free. I chose to let it go. I chose to say what was on my mind and in my heart. I chose to let go of the fear, worry and pain that I felt was always working against me .  . . and appreciate it for teaching me to enjoy my life even more deeply than before.

Thank you, darkness, for showing me just how bright those stars can shine.

And for you, a loving reminder that whatever it is that hurts you, makes you feel less than or seems to hold you back from living your life full throttle, is really just a beautiful reminder of what is possible. The things you may label as “bad, dark, horrible, messy”  they can actually be stepping stones to your greatness, your power and your place to shine brightly.

Much love,