One of the biggest buzz words flying around in the online world, coaching world, and personal success world is the
concept of being authentic.
The gist is that if we are just our 100% authentic selves, then that will somehow skyrocket our lives and businesses.
Umm . . how do I say this without sounding like a big “B”? I would venture to guess that in a majority of cases, it is actually the persons authentic, real self that is getting in the way of having an amazing life and business. There, I said it.
Being authentic and real might not be the best thing in some cases and could in fact be having a negative impact in our lives.
We could be authentically, mean. Authentically depressed. Authentically narcissistic. Authentically wounded. Just because it is real, doesn’t mean it is good, right or the best thing for you.
Sometimes you have to change, grow and evolve, so that your authentic self is the one that works for you, not against you.
My authentic self, at one point was not so amazing. My authentic self was insecure, negative, guilt ridden and just not very happy . . . to say the least.
I was a person that studied self -help and spiritual concepts to the point of overload and still was not getting what I was looking for.
That was the real, authentic me.
So how is that of value to myself or anyone? I know that people might argue that the real meaning of our authentic selves is that part of us that is connected to Source, God–whatever word works for you. But I think it is actually just inferred, more often than explained.
Being authentic in the best sense means working on your shit. There, I said it.
Being authentic means you operate from a place of awareness and consciousness, not old wounds, negative beliefs, or patterns.
If I kept hoping that my authentic self was going to make everything better, I might not be alive to be writing this post. My authentic, real self needed a massive makeover and couldn’t help others until she helped herself.
Being authentic isn’t enough. Because sometimes our authentic self is wounded, hurt, caught up in negative patterns or habits.
Yes, let’s be real. Yes, let’s be authentic. But lets be these things from a space of awareness, consciousness, growth and expansion.
Let’s not use this word and the concept as an excuse to stay stuck.
If we aren’t living the life we truly want and aren’t experiencing the success in life that we desire, then we are not operating with a healthy, well-adjusted authentic self.
That God- like part of us wouldn’t choose that for ourselves. It would choose abundance, healing, joy, connection, confidence and clarity.
There is no way we can help others, or make a positive impact in the world, if we havent first worked through our “stuff.”
Choose to work on you first. Choose to be consciously authentic.
As Abe-Hicks says “Life is supposed to be fun.”
Carrie Jolie Dale
Last week I talked about hiring a coach or mentor to up level your life and business. Now that you have that perfect coach or mentor, we need to chat a little bit about the copycat syndrome.
As I am sure you can gather from the name, the copycat syndrome, is when, well . . . we copy people in our life or business.
Now why the heck would we do such a thing?
Gosh, we just found this dreamy coach that has this dialed in message, they have this unbelievable brand and clearly they have it all figured out. And you say, “ I want what they have! If I just do what they are doing, I will get their results! Right?”
Wrong! Well, partially wrong.
It’s not that simple. I mean, yes, there are obviously things you might want to consider copying or maybe a better word would be following—like advice on how to market, the practical how-to stuff of running a business or amazing life.
But what I am not talking about is copying websites, content, their personal style, their wording, their programs or offerings—or their ideas.
We’ve all heard the saying “Imitation is the highest form of flattery” but is it really?
Marketing ideas, branding ideas, things to help with the logistical aspects of running a business or having a masterful life. Yes, take that advice and integrate it into your life, but done be a copycat.
It screams that you don’t truly believe in you.
Here are some things to consider in regards to not falling into the copycat syndrome:
- Make your business + life your own. Your authenticity (or being real) is what will attract people and it’s what will make you stand out in the sea of online gurus, marketers and entrepreneurs. Copying someone else’s deal with only drive people away from you. Plus, it’s just lame.
- Its’ most easy to fall into this trap when you aren’t feeling confident, feeling a bit lost in your life and business or are just getting started in a new venture. So, remember to choose you. Choose self-care, tuning everything else out and just BEING with you. Meditate. Find yourself damnit!
- Remember to notice what you like about others and then find your unique spin on it. For example, say you really like how a coach does mostly online videos rather than blog posts. You prefer that too. You notice that they do a weekly Q and A, or something like that. DON’T copy their mannerisms or their format—do something really YOU.
- What do you love? What do people seek you out for? What would you do regardless if people paid you for it, or even knew about it? Music? Art? Cooking? Jokes? What makes you special? Capitalize on your gifts, your strengths and your passions. Use it. Find an interesting way to incorporate that into your business.
- I have found in my life and coaching business, that we people are in that “ I don’t know, I can’t figure it out, I am not sure” phase, that what they are really saying is that they are out of touch with what they want and out of touch with themselves. If you feel that way often, then I would get coaching on exactly that topic. It is beyond liberating to break free of that tormenting voice of “I don’t know.” Because the truth is—you do know.
- Take a break from everyone else’s newsletters, suggestions and idea for awhile. Get off the guru hopping! If you really can’t access YOUR voice, you need to tune the other ones out for a while to find YOU in there. Give it a break. Choose to find you by stepping away from all the other information.
In some respects, most everything is recycled information. Someone just finds a way to put his or her unique spin on it.
So, I understand that it can be hard to avoid the copycat syndrome in some respects. Sometimes it happens and people don’t even realize it, but mostly, it happens because we aren’t listening to our truths, our voices, our passions + inner fire.
Being successful in life or in your business is about being successful with you. You come first.
Being real is about being you, not about trying to be like someone else—that’s already being done. Be you, 100%, homegrown organic. That is what people are going to find the most charismatic, alluring and well, real.
Merci et xxoo
Carrie Jolie Dale